I need to apologize for a couple of different things here.
First, if you are one of the people whom I have emailed, Facebook messaged, written or called with some kind of question -and you got back to me with some kind of follow up question or even a brilliant answer and I never got back to you? Or if you have reached out to me – and I never answered you. . . just know, please do understand, that I am sure to have answered you in my own head. I find myself oh, say, in the shower, driving in my car, washing dishes, and having these long complex conversations in my head (with you). Repeatedly. Maybe first in the car, and then in the shower, and then while vacuuming (every day, the entire house, from top to bottom, for hours, till I have calluses on the last two fingers of my right hand because the effing fleas will. not. die.) But eventually, while I’m having one of these conversations (with you) I realize that I’ve never actually gotten back to you. That you do not know the conclusions that I have come to about the topic we were discussing. You might not even know the topic. I’m sorry I didn’t include you. In our conversation.
I’m trying to break some old habits.
Which brings me to my next apology. This picture I’m showing you of my desk is just something that shouldn’t be out there. I’ve been reading a LOT the last few days about putting pretty pictures on one’s blog and how that can make or break you as far as getting recognition. Getting shared. And I want that. I want to be shared and featured and even invited to guest blog. (that reminds me – what is an “action”, a “watermark” and WHAT is an “Alexa ranking”?) This picture of my desk is very not pretty. I shouldn’t be showing it to anyone but I’m trying to embarrass myself into doing something about it. It’s even worse now – I’ve set my breakfast plate down on top of the pile to the left of my computer.
How are these two things related? Trust me. I can’t lie (even to myself) and say that the desk just got this way “because the Holidays are so hectic” or that, “it’s almost tax-time and I’ve got some sorting to do”. Really this is just what the desk looks like. All the time. But in my head, oh, in my head a transformation takes place almost daily. There are ideas that would put Martha herself to shame. There is no dust. There is not a dead spider under the glass desktop. There is staging and lighting and loveliness and an actual place to work that does not include resting your elbow on a plastic travel soap dish. So.
I have some emails to answer and a Facebook message to send (to my friend Danielle: Your sister lives in Philmont??!! My husband is from Philmont!! ). And I need to put my breakfast dish in the sink. And I’m going to try to change what the desk looks like in real life. First goal: make it look good enough that I don’t blush if you stop by my house and happen to see it. It’s not tucked away in an office with a door – it’s right in the center hall of this center-hall-colonial. And then my next goal: make it look good enough that I will invite you over to my house to see it.
Or – you can check out the blog again – I’ll try to post a pretty picture.
Do you have a room in your house that gives you a stabbing-suffocating-kind-of-pain every time you walk past it? Is there a much different picture of it in your head? Want to tell me about it? Or (gasp!) show me a picture?